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The Virtual Playground
When we were kids, we did it on the playground. When we were teens, we did it in – or after – school. When we got to college, we did it at parties, or sometimes in the library or the dining hall over brunch. As adults, it became harder: more responsibilities, and less free time. But somehow we managed to sneak it in, between 9-to-5 jobs and breastfeeding and soccer matches. Still, it wasn’t easy, and sometimes it seemed more effort than it was really worth.
No, I’m not talking about what you think I’m about talking about (raise your hands…how many of you pictured an R-rated blog post?).
I’m talking about making friends. Finding someone to laugh with. Finding someone to cry with. Finding someone who’ll call your bluff, who’ll give the advice you don’t want to hear, who’ll drop most things to shop and who’ll drop everything to help you heal a broken heart. It gets harder as we get older, right? We not only lack the time to devote to making and maintaining friends, we sometimes forget the social skills we need to keep them.
In the twenty-first century, though, it’s a whole different playground. Thanks to the wired world, we can befriend people on the other side of the globe as easily as those right down the road. We can forge friendships with people of all cultures and locations. Most interesting of all, we can become closer to people we have never met than those who share our daily lives: the neighbors we wave to once in a while, the accountants who work in the department down the hall, the other mothers in the PTO.
I had no idea what I was getting myself into, five years ago when I joined my first online writers’ group. Now, countless groups and boards and blogs later, I can say that I have virtual friends around the world. They have helped me learn the craft of writing, but along the way they have also become significant parts of my life. We cheer each other’s successes, and we support each other’s losses. We ask advice. We share shopping tips. We bemoan life’s bumps. We send prayers.
I’ve been lucky enough to meet a couple of my virtual friends in person, and each time it felt as though we’d known each other forever. It’s funny, I think, that you can become important to another person without ever hearing her voice or (sometimes) without even seeing her face. But how wonderful to know that it can happen., and that I can fire up my computer and be in touch with any of them in a matter of minutes.
So tell me: have you made friends on the virtual playground? Have you found people to nurture your life that you’ve never met or spoken to in person? And how cool is that, really?
P.S. – I couldn’t write this post without a shout-out to my true-blue virtual friends: Maria, Judy, Cindi, Les, Michael, Christie, and Diane. Thanks for making my life, and my writing career, richer every day.
Allie,
What a beautiful and thoughtful post and I’m not just saying this because you mentioned me. LOL
I have definitely met many people online with completely different backgrounds than mine. Several of them live in places I’ll probably never travel to. But these writing friends have made my life so much richer by sharing their joys and disappointments with me. My online friends never fail to give me encouragement and support when I need it. Whether it is a family crisis or related to a writing concern, I know they will dole out exactly what I need. Writers are the most giving and compassionate people.
I’ve been blessed since I embarked on a writing career. You’re right, Allie, life is definitely cool because of the friends we make on the virtual playground!
Hi Allie
I loved your post and while i don’t have any virtual friends that I first met on-line, I do have many friends I have met over the years at writer’s conferences that I keep in touch via the internet and its been great. I just had one happy e-mail last month from a woman that I made friends with at the New England RWA conference who was from Texas – she’s had just gotten the call.
Hi Allie,
This is a great topic. Personally I wouldn’t be here if I hadn’t met friends back in 1997 and started writing fan fiction. Those friends and a lot of strangers encouraged me to keep writing fan fic _and_to start writing my own stories.
I’ve met several of these people in person: Marti from upstate NY is a treasure; Gretchen from Ohio is another; MamaDee, transplanted New Yorker now lives in Tennessee; Sally another New Yorker. All of these friends I first met online because of a certain television show, La Femme Nikita.
I hope to meet some Samhain cyber pals this October at the Women’s Expo.
great post, Allie.
I’ve made numerous ‘virtual’ friends from blogging. I started blogging initially as a way to promote my book – but it has become much more than that and now I can’t imagine not keeping in touch with many of my blog buddies!
The best online writing friend I have made thus far is a guy named Chris Stevenson (Triceratops on AW). He’s extremely knowledgable, helpful and unselfish. And also very talented. His is a name that will be commonly known in the not-too-distant future.
Aw.. shucks.
I loved meeting you — and hope we can do it again sometime (I’ll leave the DD at home, so we can gab longer).
It’s true, tho. I think my best friends are my “virtual” ones — you, Judy, Ceri, Michele…and so many more. I’d be lost without them!
I know exactly what you mean. I’ve been a member a forum for the past year and I can say I’ve learned so much about myself and writing. I saw some of them at conference and it was great putting names to faces. Chatting over drinks and catching up like old friends. These women are my support group. I know I can go to them with my crazy questions and they seem normal, because I’m among like company. I don’t know how far I’d be in my writing if I had never joined this group.