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Writing and the Undeniable Urge to Create

You’ve heard the old question: which comes first—the chicken or the egg? To translate this into terms I care about—which came first—writing or the undeniable urge to create something…anything?

For me, first came reading. We were all readers first. I devoured every book placed in my path: fairy tales, mythology, biographies, and mysteries. Like many writers, I started writing my own stories in grade school. So why did I wait until I was in my fifties to start writing for publication? I plead to being too sensitive to criticism. I let a former childhood friend and teachers discourage me in school.

That’s how I lost my way.

I was always good in science, English, and terrible in math. Unfortunately I allowed my curiosity and thirst for all sorts of knowledge propel me into the nursing profession. I was never meant to be a nurse, but I was a good one. All along this path, I wrote papers for school and letters to friends—before computers, all you young’uns. To satisfy my urge for creativity, I became a professional student. I worked on a degree in psychology for a while. I took up macramé and created lovely wall hangings, etc. In my thirties I discovered Kathleen Woodiwiss and Rosemary Rogers, so I started my own romantic epic. I gave up after writing a hundred pages typed on an old Smith-Corona portable typewriter. Let’s face it I was young and cute and life had a way of intruding. LOL Then in my forties, I went to interior design school and fell in love with watercolor painting.

But I never gave up my nursing career and never practiced as a professional designer after going to school for five years at nights to complete my degree. One thing I discovered during those five years was that I’d rather have a root canal than do a presentation, something which is part and parcel of selling oneself as an interior designer. As much as I loved working with color, design, and the puzzle of space planning, I wasn’t suited to be an interior designer.

Then when I was fifty, I bought my first computer and discovered fan fiction. I read it and decided I could write it, too. Chapters/scenes were posted on story boards and readers could comment at will. My third story ended up being a 95k novel, written in three months, involving my favorite characters, Michael and Nikita from La Femme Nikita. I received great comments—of course, fan fic readers are a forgiving lot. After all, it’s preaching to the choir.

But I made a cyber-pal, another fan fic writer, who also had published about twenty to thirty Silhouette Desires. She gave me great encouragement and, more importantly, the first red-lined critique. Honestly her pen must’ve run out of ink. From that one in-depth critique, I learned so much, but especially about POV and how to avoid the sin of head-hopping. She still remains one of my biggest supporters, and I can never pay her back for that first critique.

That was when I had the bright idea of writing my own stories again. I knew it would be more difficult, but I knew I could finish a book-length novel. That first effort took eighteen months and was 142k words in the first version. Eventually I trimmed 14k words and it sold to a small e-press in 2003, right after my second sold in 2002

The last ten years have been the most productive and exciting of my life. I’ve held four books in my hand and have three more planned for release this year and next. Which takes me back to the original question of which came first. For me, the answer is the undeniable urge to create came first. It took a long time to discover the avenue of creation which suited my personality. Writing was and always has been perfect for this introverted and introspective person.

So what came first for you? Have you always been a writer and never discouraged or lost your way?

Marie-Nicole Ryan
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