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Does you mother-in-law know what you do?
Yesterday my in-laws arrived from Canada for a one month visit, prompting my question: when do I get a chance to write over the next four weeks? Have you ever tried to drop the good, capable, loving daughter-in-law routine for a couple of hours, and hit the keyboard, to adopt the sexy, passionate, erotic romance writer persona? I have. Several times. It hasn’t work yet.
When I write my love scenes I need absolute privacy. Not a single soul around. Just me, and my computer. (Oh, okay, Luigi the dog is allowed into my office — but no one else.) It’s not just the love scenes I need privacy for. It’s the whole book, as every chapter in every book invariably leads up to, or away from, those love scenes. The building of the tension, the secret looks, the unexpected touches, the jittery bellies, it’s all incorporated, all that underlying sexual tension. How can I conjure it up if there’s someone else around? And more importantly, how can I conjure up that level of sensuality when my father-in-law might walk into my office at any minute?
It’s no surprise that while my extended family knows me really well, they have never met Jess Dee. Yes, they’re aware I write romance, and some even know I write hot, but I have done my best to make sure DH’s parents never learn the truth. Imagine what they’d think if they knew what I wrote about. Tell, me, please, how do I look my mother-in-law in the eye when I’m half way through a, um, juicy description of my hero and heroine in, well, let’s just say a rather compromising position, and she wants to know where I keep the whipped cream? (All right, the mayonnaise. ;) Whipped cream just seemed to fit in better there.)
Then there’s the terrifying fear that I will have to leave the house for whatever reason, and forget to close the file I’m working on. Of course the in-laws need to check their email, and my computer is right there… AARRRGGGGHHHH! I can’t even think about it.
Don’t get me wrong. My in-laws are wonderful, wonderful people, and though some may think it impossible, I love having them stay with us. It’s just that for some reason, they seem to think I am wonderful too, and I would hate to mess with their perception of me. Tell me, please, how could a wonderful girl – married to their son, no less – fill the pages of a book with words and concepts like that? I am, after all, the good, capable, loving daughter-in-law, and I intend to keep that persona!!!
Jess
BTW, I’d love it if you popped in to visit me at:
My website and my blog
Hi Jess!
I happen to think that erotic romance writers fit into the ‘wonderful’ catergory” :)
I’m right there with you.
My family knows and have even read Zandia [it was dedicated to my mom so I figured it was only right she have a chance to read it], but the cutie’s parents don’t. They know I write but not what, they don’t ask and I don’t tell…keeps everything on an even keel.
Great entry Jess :-)
Tilly Greene
WARNING! Red hot romances ahead!
www.tillygreene.com
I got really lucky with my in-laws. My DH’s parents are divorced; his father and step-mother know what I’m writing, and his mom is actually one of my beta-readers!
I’m really lucky; both of my mother-in-laws know what I do and have no problems with it. One of them is even a beta reader for me!
I know how you feel Jess. Ever since I ‘came out’ to my in-laws and the rest of the extended family, they’ve been telling anyone and everyone that I’m a romance writer. Which is great. I’m just not sure how the explicit sex scenes sit with them and their work colleagues etc. No one’s mentioned and I don’t discuss – I hardly want to bring it up, i.e. “So what do you think about oral sex? You all do that right? Think I give a realistic portrayal?”
Um, no thanks.
Hope you get SOME writing done. Perhaps you need to drap a feather boa over the door knob when you want to be alone :)
Thanx for all your comments.
Aw, Joey, what a nice thing to say!
Tilly, brave of you to let your mom read it. And I fully identify with your in law decision.
Dana Marie – your MIL is one your beta readers? Lucky you!
Sami – I am so confused. I know you left a comment, but I cannot see it here. D’uh. Am I going nuts? Nevertheless, I’m still chuckling at what you said.
Jess
I just had the “You didn’t tell us you’re published now – when can I read it?” talk with my MIL. Ouch. Some talks, there isn’t enough wine in the world to recover with.
LOL! Well, my in-laws are no longer with us and I haven’t a clue what they’d think or say.
However, my problem has been with the people I go to church with. They are super conservative…honestly so am I in ‘real-life’. I guess it’s just as well I don’t write erotic ~~ my steamy/sexy style is still more than I assumed they’d appreciate. ;)
But I’ve been pleasantly surprised by the reactions from those who are finding out about my work. They’re in awe! They’re excited for me and can’t wait to read my books! I have a whole new fan-base opening up.
Wow. What a weird feeling. Just proves you never know what people will think or say until you confess. ;)
I wish you much luck with the in-laws! I think Sami is onto something with that feather boa on the doorknob idea. ;)
I’m leaving it up to the hubby what, if anything, he tells his folks about my writing. I think he’s planning to run it past his sister first, see how she thinks they’ll react. I think that’s a good idea. My parents know that the novel I sold is gay erotic fantasy romance. While most of that genre category isn’t even noteworthy in my family, I don’t think they realize the extent of the “erotic” part of it. My friends, on the other hand, are mostly theatre people so they react to the fact that I actually wrote and managed to sell a novel far more than they do to the category it falls into. Indeed, many have been thoroughly and profoundy unsuprised by that part. lol