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Laughter IS the Best Medicine-contest
I like humor. I know, it’s hard to believe that a woman who uses the tagline, erotic romance with a slap and a tickle, likes humor, but I do. It has been something that has comforted me during my life and helped get through some extremely rough times. I used it at every new school I went to during my father’s AF career, and still today, when we get to a new base. I think because of this, I rarely can write without a little humor. Follow me after the jump to read how it helped me personally this year.
2007 was a hard year for the Schroeders. It started on Dec 31, 2006 with my mom in the hospital and went downhill from there. During the year, I lost my two remaining grandparents, my 15 yr old dog had to be put down, my youngest broke her finger, I spent 10 days in the hospital, my father had a couple of surgeries, my mother-in-law had one surgery and we ended the year in the hospital with the youngest kid again, this time pneumonia, and during Christmas week no less.
You try and keep it together for the kids, but throughout the year, I found myself slipping into depression, sometimes going weeks without being able to write. The kids were more important than my career, so I had to focus any good feelings I had on them. Friends, editors and other authors were dismayed by by the way I disappeared at times, and when I was around, I wasn’t always the kind of person you want to be around. Two, three days tops at conferences is all I could handle. After that, I felt a need to rush home, reassure myself that everyone was okay, and then hide myself away. It seeped into my writing. Humor, something that had been easy for me before, became something that I just couldn’t write, and don’t even talk to me about the deeper writing. I know one professional relationship will never be the same because the other party could not accept that I wasn’t being a loafer, or difficult. I was trying to keep it together. That one problem relationship also fed into my derpession, making me think that I had never really been a good writer, that all my success had been a fluke.
I hadn’t gotten to the point that I needed chemical intervention, but I think I was on the way. It took me a few months to come up with the solution to it. It was so simple, I felt like an idiot.
While I was in the hospital—the first time, one thing that I asked for was my News Radio DVDs. And it was remembering that later in the year, that had me moving away from anything serious. I just couldn’t take dramas or tear jerkers. Watching something like that could send me spiraling down. So I went through my own keeper shelf and pulled out books by Jenny Crusie, Susan Andersen, Christina Dodd, and many of my favorite authors who use humor in their romances, and kept those front and center. Any time I felt myself slipping, I would have an Arrested Development or Scrubs DVD marathon, watch Comedy Central all day, or pop in my copy of Dodge Ball. I didn’t have to think, didn’t have to even contemplate my problems, all I had to do was enjoy. I found myself working through the nasty tempers(because when I get depressed and cry, I get angry about it) and not spending days wondering just why the hell I was an author. Using that, I truly think I saved myself from medication.
I am still not 100%. With a move next month, other stresses are going to come into play. Moving with kids is never easy, but this time we are doing it with teenager and all her hormones along with the ride. We also don’t know what to expect out of the job my husband is starting, and professionally, I am still having problems writing although they are not as bad as they were. I still have to work through them every day, and sometimes I don’t win. But, I have learned to take a step back and find something light hearted to remind me that life isn’t always about being the tough person and forging ahead. It is sometimes about stopping to hear the laughter, and remember it is more important to enjoy life.
Now, I want to hear from you. What do you do to keep yourself upbeat during hard times? Do you have a favorite author? How about a favorite show or activity? All you have to do is tell me and your name goes in the hat for a GC from mybookstoreandmore.com!
Two things… wait, three… that I do to keep myself upbeat.
Clinical depression runs in my family, so it’s something I try to keep aware of. If I find myself getting down (for instance, I had a fight with a long-time friend that’s since been mended, but it hit me hard), I either
a) Break out the MaryJanice Davidson faves, like Santa Claws or Really Unusual Bad Boys;
b) Play an on-line game with my husband, like Tabula Rasa or EverQuest II (because, at least in Tabula Rasa, it’s okay to get up on the roof with a shotgun and blow the bad guys away);
c) sit down and have a long discussion with my husband. He knows about the occasional problems I face, and doesn’t think less of me for them. He’s done more to keep me off therapy and medication than anyone or anything else in my life.
And if all else fails, I try to remember this line from The Sound of Music: “When the Lord closes a door, somewhere he opens a window.” =)
Mel, I can’t even imagine that kind of a string of trouble. You make mine seem like nothing. The last few years have been hard for me and my family with layoff’s, legal problems, and health problems for several of us. Because of that I went from being an addicted reader (5-7 books a week) to being unable to lose myself in reading anymore. For the first time in my life I couldn’t retreat and lose myself in books. I reached the point where I was worried all the time, couldn’t focus on books, seldom left the house, and had trouble sleeping. Being laid off in the state with the worst unemployment, I had way too much free time. That allowed me to worry about that, family problems and anything else crossing my path.
I changed all that in the blink of an eye (almost).
I got on the internet, explored the world of ebooks, new authors, cafes, AND contests. I came out of lurkdom for Samhains RAEB contest. (Thanks again for the book I won from you.) A few days after the contest, I found myself as a new moderator (in training) for SamhianCafe. Now four weeks later I find myself way to busy to worry or fret. I am stretching my memory with all the new authors and titles to remember. Now I have trouble finding time to read my books. That’s probably an unusual cure but it worked for me. Finding something you can focus on and get lost in really does work miracles.
Mel, I am saying a few prayers for you and your family.
Best wishes to you,
sandie
To keep myself upbeat at times, I usually like to read books on my shelf that have made me laugh like The Stephanie Plum series by Janet Evanovich or The Betsy Taylor, Vampire Queen Series by Mary Janice Davidson. Hope thats a good enough answer. Caitlin ckh988@aol.com
Mel, So sorry for your ’07 troubles and hope that ’08 is looking up for you and your family.
The only time I can recall being clinically depressed was in 1998. I was in my 22nd year of telephone company employment and had spent 18 years in high stress, sales oriented jobs (Yellow Pages sales & Small Business service rep). Being totally burned out on sales jobs and my sales results were suffering so badly I was actually in danger of being fired for poor performance. I put in for transfer to a lesser pay, non-sales job on 2 seperate occasions and was denied both times. It seemed that because my job/pay scale was at the top of the food chain and the company’s policy was promotional, lateral then demotion transfer in that order, the jobs I wanted were taken before I was even considered. I took 10 weeks sick leave to eat up some of my time because as it worked out my service anniversary and my birthday were 1 day apart and I would be eligible for full-pension retirement on my birthday. I put in my retirement papers in August to retire on my birthday in November. I couldn’t even finish out the year. It wasn’t worth it to stick around 6 more weeks in hell. When I walked away from that place, I felt the weight of the world lift from my shoulders, have never looked back and have never felt better. Best move I ever made and I think it saved my sanity and my life.
I spend my time now watching TV dramas (don’t like sitcoms), Netflix movies, surfing the internet, buying & selling books and reading. My TBR pile is contained on three 6-shelf bookcases jammed full of books and numbering around 1200. Guess I’d better get busy reading. LOL
During hard times I always say ‘everything happens for a reason’ and although it might not be evident at the time, I know I’ll see the reason later on. So just that thought comforts me.
Reading is my favorite thing to do so I have several favorite authors. Comedies that always make me laugh regarless of how many times I watch them are Friends, Frasier, Two and a half men, the King of Queens and Will & Grace.
Wishing you strength, laughter and ice-cream to get through your hard times
Joy
I think laughter is the best medicine. Nowadays, I’m really stressed about school with so many studying to do and Clinicals and so to sort-of destressed, I read books by my favorite authors, those books that leave me with a giddy feeling, that makes me laugh or even cry, I love, love these books! I watch tv, do a home-made spa day, and try to laugh and just keep in mind that yes, it’s hard work but it’s gonna pay up. :)
First, I send the best wishes for a better 2008 to Mel and everyone else.
I agree that reading or watching madcap or slapstick is uplifting. There is a lot of healing power in a hearty belly laugh. There was a great B/W movie done about a Hollywood bigshot who wanted to make a movie that everyone in the Depression would want to go see. To figure out what to shoot, he ended up traveling cross-country as a hobo, getting thrown in jail wrongfully, etc. He realized through his experience that the average person in the Depression did not want to see an epic movie showing all the pain and suffering, but would flock to a cartoon reel followed by a Marx Brothers comedy. (The movie, called Sullivan’s Travels, is pretty good itself).
I also find that singing and dancing, whether in public or in your jammies jiving around the family room can really raise the spirits. Music also makes it easier to get through some of the daily drudgery such as dishes, loo cleaning, etc.
Happy Days!
kaisquared
Reading my favorite books/authors with no interruptions. For the WHOLE weekend if possible. I have most weekends off and if I don’t shop with one of my sisters, I love to just get away from the house and check into a hotel (no room service needed) with my favorite music in the background, lay in bed and read, read, read. My favorite snacks would be right at hand and I’ll call one of my sisters or brothers to let them know I’m okay before they send out the calvary! Really. My brother and nephew are former members of the calvary and it happened at least once before when I didn’t check in! I was younger and less smart than I am now, but once was enough! That can add to the BLAHS like nothing else.
Laughter is definitely the medicine that works for me. Watching Friends episodes or reading a Stephanie Plum book, always lightens my mood. Just getting outside for a bit to enjoy the sunshine, or watch the squirrels play tag along my back fence can boost my spirits, too. Something about absorbing the beauty of nature can totally recharge me.
My very best wishes, Mel, that this will be a great year for you, both personally and professionally.
I read a funny story. Or I just read anything. Read usually takes me away. Sometimes I watch a funny show. Now that I have a son sometimes just being with him makes me happy. :)
I’m sure this year will be great. :)
To keep myself upbeat, I read a funny romance, watch a good comedy or go on a girls’ day out with my best friend.
I usually watch favorite shows…like Buffy. It’s comforting and makes me happy. Or I clean lol Having a clean house makes me feel better
I’m so sorry to hear about the hard year it’s been for you and your family—that IS a lot to handle, and a lot of different pressures on you as a mom, wife, daughter, friend and not to mention professionally! I have not had to handle so much, but find that intentionally seeking out humor as you have (Jenny Crusie, SEP, Julia Quinn, Erin McCarthy, Jill Shalvis, for some; and some TV or movies—whatever rings your bell ;)) helps. Or spending time in the company of people who lift your spirits—you know how there are certain people who have a way about them that even being in their presence is a balm to your own spirit.
Also, knowing that “this too shall pass” helps me—at those difficult hours in the middle of the night, I remind myself that things are usually better in the light of a new day, and often somehow they are. And if you can take a little break from the situation—remove yourself even for a few minutes to do something you enjoy—that can be helpful.
And finally, if you get to the point where you feel able to reach out to others, maybe intentionally giving of yourself somehow—making a point of saying something kind to a neighbor or your child or going out of your way to do a special thing for someone—that I’ve found loops back to make me feel better, too.
Hugs, Melissa, and I hope you’re having a good weekend!
Books, books, books! Interspersed with time following up on my Yahoo group posts (80+ groups) and some TV time. I’ve suffered from depression for years and I agree that humor is what has gotten me though a lot of tough times. I have an extended family like a soap opera and when you add in personal family issues and current world events, it’s a recipe for depression.
I have many favorite authors (Jayne Ann Krentz, Janet Evanovich, MaryJanice Davidson, Katie MacAlister, Julie Kenner and Christina Skye) that I’ve read for years when things get tough. Through the Yahoo groups, I’ve discovered many new authors (Shelly Laurenston, Bianca D’Arc, Liz Craven, Michelle Pillow, Denise Agnew, Lauren Dane and yes, Melissa Schroeder), some of them with just bits of humor and others that are laugh out loud funny. All of them have become “comfort” reads to be reread often.
I have a few favorite movies that help, some by being funny and others because the story is so engrossing. Old favorites include: Bringing Up Baby, Operation Petticoat, Some Like it Hot, The Great Race, The Fifth Element, Hunt for Red October, Star Wars: A New Hope, Harry Potter movies, Disney’s Mulan, and Monster’s Inc.
I don’t do New Year’s resolutions, but my wish for myself and all of my friends is a calmer, less stressful 2008.
Mel, I’m so sorry about everything that happened!
What keeps the blues away for me is silly 80s movies. Sometimes they aren’t really that funny, but they’re so ridiculous that they make me laugh.
I also love reading, getting caught up in someone else’s life helps mine move a little faster!
Hi Melissa – To me, the best medicine for laughter would be watching a movie like a comedy or chic flick movie, or if you watch some Jackie Chan’s US movie done in the beginning of his career, those are very funny. I would laugh so hard that my stomach hurt and tears coming out of my eyes. Another laughter cure is reading a good humor book.
I love watching a good movie or reading a book. Shelly laurenston for a great laugh. Some of those one liners her heroines come up with just cracks me up. there are lots of authors that I love to read that aren’t comedies but just make me feel good. Acition movies are always good to watch along with family movies.
Melissa,
I’m sorry to hear about your bad year – hopefully 2008 is a much better one! Hm, as to keeping upbeat, I like reading a great book, like you- or taking some time and doing something I like, without interruptions. Or, do something special – like a fancy “girls night out” with friends.
I saw a topic much like this one in a blog recently – so I’m still a bit touchy about “hard times” – I had a bad one, in high school, where 5 people I knew died in one month. [November] So… my way of dealing with that was another event pushing me into a total breakdown 4 months later.
A lot of people don’t like to do this, but if it’s really bad, sometimes talking to a therapist might help. It’s just different from talking to a friend (though that’s good and important too.) Maybe a walk around a park, since it’s spring will help. All the cute little animals are having babies, the trees and flowers are growing in and the sun (depending on where you live) is finally making a reappearance.
awwww…big hug, Melissa. I hope this year is a whole lot better for you. When I’m down, I try to think of all the good things in my life and focus on that. My husband is a very positive person and helps that along. I do have my books to escape away to when I can’t shake bad thoughts in my head. Sometimes a nap will help.
I have a whole bunch of favorite authors. Judith McNaught is at the top because she was the first romance author’s story I ever read and that got me hooked. My favorite show is American Idol.
I either read a funny book or watch a comedy. Or I would watch some of my fave older tv shows, like Three’s Company or I Love Lucy.
Wow! I’m sorry that things weren’t looking up for you, and I’m glad that things are starting to look up. Moving is hard, too. I’ve done it in the military more than I can count. Then in the civilian world, I probably moved an additional 7 times due to promotions!!! My son was okay with all of the moves except for one, when he was a teenager. It was hard on him, but once he took time to share his feelings about it, we both felt better. I’m glad he was willing to share his frustrations.
Whenever there is tragedy in our lives, it seems the first area that suffers is with something we really like doing. You’re a writer no matter what happens – that’s who you are, so somehow, I believe that you’ll get the urge to write again when you least expect it. You’ll find that it will all come back with a vengeance. Life has a funny way of working out that way, I think. Your creative juices are alive and well, but just hiding for the moment.
As women, I think we all tend to be superwomen, and therefore hide feelings of depression or sadness from ourselves and others around us. It took me many, many years to understand that I can’t be everything for everybody. Though goodness knows, women will try.
I deal with sadness by unplugging the phone, sitting in my bedroom and reflecting. Once I’m done with that, I have to pull out a book and turn on Top Chef, Kathy Griffin – all on Bravo. Guilty Pleasures geared to help me keep life in perspective. Kathy Griffin is so hilarius that I can watch her over and over again. Then I switch to the Food Network or Animal Planet. No one is getting killed, there is no plot to figure out, nothing will make anybody cry.(lol) These are fun shows that I have no expectation about.
Of course, I am reading while I’m watching television, because as much as I would like to escape, I’m still thinking about my “to be read” list and the reviews that are due.(lol) My booklist and favorite authors are waaaaayy too long to list, so I won’t go there.
When all else fails, remember that you do have people in your life who love and care about you, no matter what. Hang In There.
Ro
Mel, sometimes we’re led to people & places when we need it most. I’m in the midst of a depressing year like yours. Last year I went to a funeral every 60 days: family, friends, and children of friends (the saddest).
My father’s been in & out of the hospital since August, my mom’s showing symptoms of dementia, and all us kids live out of state. And with 2 teenaged sons, I gave up my job/grad school to be available, but the days by myself can be brutal.
You relating your own experience & others’ with theirs helps me see I’m not alone & there is light at the end of the tunnel. I read alot of blogs (too many!) & give thanks for my health & my wonderful husband & family. I save television for nighttime when the guys are home, so I write (or at least struggle with writing), I read two books a week, I scrub my house (I did say I have 2 teenaged
animalsboys, + a husband), and I run and lift weights. When I’m physically engaged, running & lifting, there’s no background negativity humming in my head, because I can only focus on matching my pace to the music beat, or that last rep. Doesn’t mean I’m buff (lol! farr from it!) but I’m always ready for a 10k.Glad to hear you’re on the other side of it. Stay well.
Take care and thanks for asking. P.J.