Samhain Publishing Ltd Weblog

Celibacy Is Not For The Weak

My husband and I have a bi-city relationship and we see each other maybe 5-6 days a month. Sheesh! Dating couples see each other more.

We live 300 miles apart, seeing each other whenever possible. Some months—like this month—we might not see each other at all. I know. It sucks.

Celibacy is not for the weak.

So I was thrilled when I got a call from Greg saying he was able to get off work and will run up to see me for a couple of days. We hadn’t seen each other in three weeks and I quickly asked my boss for a day off too.

We’ve been doing this 300 mile dance for about eight years now, and there are hardships with this arrangement. Like when the water heater busted, or when the dog was sick, or when I lost my drivers license because I couldn’t pass the vision test. That’s when you need your partner, your life mate, somebody who can pick up the pieces and help you put that dish back together.

Oh, and the sex. We miss that too. This 300 mile separation brings new meaning to the term coitus interruptus.

Of all the questions I get when people find out about our strange un-cohabitation, few ever asks the delicate question of forced celibacy.

Greg tells his friends: It’s like being a bachelor, but I don’t get to date.

So when our friends hear that one of us is seeing the other, they rush to get out of our way as we’re headed out the door. Otherwise someone is liable to get hurt.

Strangely enough, this bi-city living arrangement is not as unusual as I thought. Since living apart, we’ve met a dozen other couples who are forced into the same predicament. And then there are also the brave men and women who serve in the military. Their spouses may not see them for months at a time.

While we’ve acclimated to being alone a great deal of the time, there are a few things I really miss doing.

I miss cooking for him. Me! The woman who is as domesticated as a wildebeest. I also miss sleeping with him. And despite email, cell phones and snail mail letters, we both miss being able to share those little moments in our lives that only our significant other would understand.

We’ll live together again soon. We are nearing the end of this stint and we’ll go back to being a normal couple, fussing, needling, and holding each other every night.

In the meantime, if you see me with a suitcase and a dog in the car—get out of my way! I’m going to see my husband.

Addendum: Solitude hasn’t been all bad. This is how I became a novelist.

For more writing markets, news and wacky stories pop over to http://mariazannini.blogspot.com/ and to my website at: http://www.mariazannini.com/.

And to see what all this alone time has netted, pick up Touch Of Fire and let me know what you think. I want to hear from you.

Maria Zannini