Great Expectations

Posted by Sami Lee, 07/12/08 03:00 PM

My first child didn’t want to come into the world. Having heard stories about waters breaking in the middle of the supermarket I was prepared well ahead of schedule, but ten days after my due date I’d still not had even a twinge. Labor had to be induced. I was hooked up to monitors and a drip, my ‘birth plan’ (an oxymoron if ever I’ve heard one) wasn’t worth the pretty coloured paper it was written on (oh yes, colored paper). Five hours later I heard words no woman in childbirth wants to hear. The midwife said to me:

“You haven’t dilated at all love. If I were you I’d have the epidural because you’re going to be here all night.”

Another twelve or so hours later (and oh yeah I took the drugs) I was told my baby was in distress and couldn’t wait the few further hours it would take for labor to progress to final stage. So after nine months, ten days, 17 hours followed by an emergency caesarean section (during which a first year resident fainted at the sight of my uterus—I’m hoping he didn’t go into obstetrics) I finally had a healthy baby girl—whom they promptly handed to my husband because I was too numb to hold her. Ah, well.

Why am I telling you all this? Because in less than one week I’m expecting the arrival of child number two, this time by planned caesarean (no way I’m going through that again), so the subject of childbirth has been on my mind. And believe it or not, I think I can draw a comparison between birth stories and romance novels.

Don’t believe me huh? Has anyone ever questioned your penchant for reading romance by using the argument that they’re all the same? Yes, romance novels almost without fail end with a couple committing to each other. The vast majority of birth experiences come to a close on their own—fingers and toes crossed—HEA, a hopefully healthy baby. Just because most birth experiences conclude with the same result, does that make every single story the same? No way. Same goes for romance novels. The end result might be similar but every story is as individual as the writer who crafts it.

So I’d be the first to say, despite the term ‘planned caesarean’, that I have no idea what to expect come next Friday. Just as I have no idea exactly how each book I pick up is going to play out. This is the beauty of life, of reading and writing – its ultimate unpredictability. Plan to be surprised, that’s what I say.

Every single story is different. So what’s yours?

Sami
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Category: | 07/12/08 03:00 PM
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Comments: [9]

  1. 1 MJ

    How interesting you’d blog about this today….17 years ago today I went through something similar, went into labor but didn’t dilate, then 12 hours later he was in distress. I sobbed when the dr. told me I’d have to have a c-section. I’d planned it a whole other way, but I needed to keep my baby safe. So I did and it was scary, and I had terrible reactions to the anesthesia, but he was safe and now he’s 17!!!

    Anyway, both my friend and my cousin had planned c-sections and said it was much easier because they hadn’t gone into labor. Good luck!

    And I love the analogy about romances and birth stories not being the same!

    Comment by MJ · Jul 12, 04:23 PM
  2. 2 Devilish Southern Belle

    What a great analogy! I never thought of it that way, but it does make perfect sense. And I plan on using your argument the next time someone makes fun of my reading material (usually ALWAYS a romance)!

    As for my birth story(ies)? Couldn’t be more different. Both kids came before my due date. With both, I had regular contractions which were intense, but not painful, for at least a week till my water broke. After my water broke, I had (thankfully) very short, yet epidural-free and pain-filled labor/delivery experiences. Followed by some pretty painful and severe postpartum issues (both physical and mental) after my first child’s birth.

    I’m done!

    Congrats on your pregnancy, though! I do hope this time around is much more calm and pleasant for you!

    Comment by Devilish Southern Belle · Jul 12, 05:22 PM
  3. 3 Fedora

    Congrats on #2, Sami! Best wishes for a smooth and swift delivery :) It’s true that no two experiences are the same, and there’s no predicting exactly what’ll happen! That makes life exciting, and picking up books so much fun :) Take care!

    Comment by Fedora · Jul 12, 07:15 PM
  4. 4 sami lee

    A very happy birthday to your son MJ. 17 – wow, it seems so far away to me but I’m sure it will all pass in the blink of an eye. As for the C-section, we do what we have to for the baby don’t we? And I’m not sure there’s ever an ‘easy’ way to give birth!

    Southern Belle, yes very different stories. I always expected that my children would be similarly eager to come into the world as I’m impatient myself, but they seem to like hanging around inside me for the longest possible time. I was lucky enough not to deal with PPD last time but I know so many women suffer this, often in silence.

    Thanks for your well wishes Fedora.

    Comment by sami lee · Jul 12, 08:49 PM
  5. 5 Rhian Cahill

    Okay, I know exactly what you mean. I love seeing all the different ways authors can take the same plot idea. And yes, comparing it to labour is the perfect analogy. I’ve got four kids, all natural births, some drug assisted, but each one was different. Different starts, different lengths of time, different weight of babies, different sexes (well, two of each) and I’ve had the scary end. He’s still a good stress inducer but I love him anyway. So yeah, no two stories are the same.
    Good luck next week Sami.
    RC

    Comment by Rhian Cahill · Jul 13, 01:44 AM
  6. 6 Melisse Aires

    The birth analogy works so well. I enjoy hearing other mothers tell about their child birth experiences, and I don’t get tired of the fact that it always ends the same—with a baby!

    it is the same with a romance—-I love the journey.

    Best wishes for the upcoming birth, I’m sure it will go much smoother!

    Comment by Melisse Aires · Jul 13, 09:49 AM
  7. 7 chris Redding

    good luck.
    I had one natural, (induced and epidural) and one c-section. Preferred the c-section because they gave me better pain meds afterwards.
    but good analogy.
    cmr

    Comment by chris Redding · Jul 13, 05:55 PM
  8. 8 sandie

    I like your comparison of having babies and reading books. There are many different ways for each, and the inportant thing is the end result and not the how of it.

    I had 5 kids all naturally. The first one had me hospitalized for 4 weekks before the birth because we were poisening each other (toxemia), so they were sedating me. They tried to induce labor after the first 2 weeks, but that failed so they said they would do a C-section in the morning. Come the morning and the orderly to take me to surgery and I went into natural labor.
    I’ve always said that they scared her out of me. LOL

    Good luck on the upcoming baby.

    sandie

    Comment by sandie · Jul 13, 08:58 PM
  9. 9 Jess Dee

    It’s now Sunday – over a week later. Which means you have been to hospital and had your baby through an elective c-section. Now I have a question?
    What did you have? Dying to know.
    Hope you and bub are doing good.
    Jess

    Comment by Jess Dee · Jul 19, 04:28 AM

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