Hunting the Manicorn

Posted by Evie Byrne, 10/11/08 03:00 PM

The Urban Dictionary word of the day for October 4, 2008:

manicorn: a mythical male creature who is successful (read: pursuing his passion and can pay his electric bills/rent), funny, chivalrous, masculine (read: not chauvinistic), adventurous, artistic (read: not suicidal).

A friend forwarded this to me for a laugh, but it got me to thinking. I write romance, therefore I manufacture manicorns. Romance heroes are perfect men: tall, gorgeous, ripped, commanding, successful, respected, protective, fair, beloved by animals and children, sensitive to the needs of the heroine, and of course, highly skilled, tireless lovers.

The logical part of me knows that any man embodying all those qualities would indeed be as rare as a unicorn. Yet I shiver with pleasure just reviewing the list. The part of me that is responsible for writing romance—and the part that loves reading romance— says “Yes! Him! I want him!”

So what is it with us and these mythical perfect men? What role do they fulfill in our lives? Why do we need them?

We fans of romance have plenty of men in our lives: husbands, boyfriends, sons, brothers, friends and fathers. We love our men, but I’d be willing to bet that few women (or men!) are lucky enough to snare a genuine manicorn as a partner.

Like us, our men are flawed. They’re sweethearts with pot bellies and thinning hair. They think belching is hilarious—no matter what their age. Their eyes glaze over when we try to explain to them the subtle nuances of female interaction. They’re terrible at finding things. In fact, they couldn’t find a boa constrictor in the fridge if it wasn’t on its usual shelf. You know who I’m talking about.

We love our big lugs, but if I wrote a real guy into the role of romance hero I probably wouldn’t sell many books. The Kingdom of Romancia is the domain of the ever-elusive manicorn. Critics from the outside might say that fantasizing about imaginary men is a form of escape and wish fulfillment for unhappy women. That, of course, is complete bull crap.

I have a theory of my own about why we love our heroes. I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours. This is a little out there, but I’m going with it. I see the romance hero as an embodiment of the sacred masculine. A good heroine embodies the sacred feminine. And more, that part of me which reflects the sacred feminine responds to the romance hero on an elemental level.

What do I mean by sacred masculine? I mean a man who’s left his boyhood behind. A man who has fully embraced the challenges, sacrifices and responsibilities of adulthood, and more, a man who is strong enough to lead others by example. The sacred feminine is the opposite pole. And betwixt the two poles lies quite a charge.

It is this strong ethical and moral core which makes a hero worth swooning over. Even the worst Regency rake will show these qualities by the end of a romance. As much as we like crooked smiles with dimples, smoldering eyes and hard abs, these traits quickly lose their charm if they are not married to higher qualities.

These higher qualities reside in our real men—their housecleaning disabilities aside. We see the strength, the tenderness, the self-sacrifice, the determination and dedication of book heroes in our everyday heroes. Far from making us dissatisfied with our men, I’d posit that romance heroes are a celebration of what we love most about men, as well as a reminder that we are heroines ourselves.

So tell me what you think about these perfect men. Do you ever compare your man to romance manicorns? Do these men help you understand men better, or do you think they set up unattainable fantasies? And what does romance teach girls about men?

Category: | 10/11/08 03:00 PM
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Comments: [2]

  1. 1 Sami Lee

    A fascinating blog post. I see romance heroes as fantasy, first and foremost. Of course you’re not going to find a guy who embodies ALL those qualities, but you can find someone who possesses the most important ones—whatever they may be for you. I think reading about the ‘perfect’ man reminds us what it is we find attractive in particular. You know what it is when you fall in love with the hero in a book—it’s not when the heroine is oglng his muscled arms, it’s when he makes a sacrifice to protect her or thinks she’s beautiful when we know she’s merely average looking, when he does something that makes the heart melt, whatever that may be for that particular reader.

    Understanding what makes a man a good man is the first thing a woman has to do to ensure she ends up with one. That in mind, I don’t think it does any harm for young girls to read romance or dream of that perfect guy—as long as they realise life just isn’t always quite that perfect!

    Comment by Sami Lee · Oct 13, 12:55 AM
  2. 2 Evie Byrne

    Thank you, Sami!

    You said:

    “Understanding what makes a man a good man is the first thing a woman has to do to ensure she ends up with one.”

    I couldn’t agree more. And as simple as it sounds, it’s the trickiest thing of all.

    However, I think I have found a perfect mate. This is for Simpsons fans out there. It’s Apu speaking:

    “Well, I have a doctorate in computer science. I run my own business, of course. I do like to cook. I’m not such a good talker, but I love to listen. In my spare time I like to build furniture and then to have a discussion about where to put it in a room.”

    Comment by Evie Byrne · Oct 13, 09:49 AM

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