Samhain Publishing Ltd Weblog

Lost in Pace

I’ve been reading submissions all week, so the topic of pacing has been on my mind. Why? Pacing problems are a frequent reason why I set a manuscript aside and reach for the next one in the pile. If a book lacks a well-paced story, readers are just as likely to set it aside. I run into pacing issues with SP authors’ submissions as well as slush-pile subs, so these offenses against good storytelling are committed by published authors as well as newbies.

Here’s a list of the usual suspects (with apologies for the mixed metaphors):

• The empty tank has no juice. It opens with the protagonist doing something boring-waking up or driving a car or staring at the sky/ocean/page while navel-gazing. It immediately dumps the character’s backstory on us-pages about the previous crappy relationship (the heroine waited eons for her ex to pop the question but instead her ex slept with her best friend and now she’s been fired from her job ad nauseam). It bores me, because I want to stay in the present moment. I want to know about what’s happening now, and get to know the heroine while she’s doing something interesting…like fighting with the hero.
• In the clock watcher, we may get some interesting action scenes but it also tell us what the heroine does every minute of every day. Clock watchers are often manifested in first person POV manuscripts. Scenes begin when the main character wakes up and end when she goes to sleep. We’re regaled with a laundry list of how she spends every moment, from morning ablutions to housework to the consumption of every meal. Yawn.
• The tortoise plods along, weighed down with junk words, repetition, run-on sentences, filter words, long paragraphs, and unnecessary explanations, which carefully point out that a gesture or action is, in fact, a reaction to the previous action or speech. The meticulous tortoise takes pains to tell us everything before he proceeds to show it, so we’re sure to understand.
• The hare gets off to a great start, with a few action-packed scenes, then suddenly plops down for a nap while the author indulges in pages of exposition.
• The breakneck is a rare breed, but I’ve had an occasional sighting. This one maintains a relentless pace from the first page to the last and is more suited to thrillers than romances, but even a thriller reader needs an occasional tender moment-or at a least a pause for breath-before the end. Breaknecks are often characterized by one-sentence (sprinkled with single-word) paragraphs.
• Each chapter of a hurdler ends with a false cliff-hanger, an obstacle easily cleared in the first paragraph of the next chapter as the protagonist sprints to the visible (and predictable) finish line.
• The premature ejaculators, most often encountered in novel-length submissions, give me false hope. By page 100, I’m excited. A new discovery! What a great voice, and there’s so much happening-the heroine’s really in deep, I can’t wait to see where this goes next…which is precisely nowhere. The action climaxes at the midpoint, and the tension, stakes, and conflict peter out during the next 100+ pages.
• The pack animal likes to hang out in caravans. It’s a sequel that collapses under the weight of the previous volumes in the series. Crammed with summaries of the action and characters from past episodes, it forgets that nothing interesting is happening in this one…and if it is, readers are too distracted by the baggage to notice. Pack-animal submissions are a common reason a published author fails to get a contract for the second book in a series.
  Okay, so what’s an author to do instead? Run the well-paced marathon:
• Begin with present action.
• Use bridging conflict until the inciting incident. For instance, your heroine may be striving to achieve something or hide from someone, providing interim tension until you’ve set up the main conflict.
• Give your characters goals they’re passionate about, and set them in opposition-rebel vs. royal, logger vs. tree-hugger. When you skillfully interweave external and internal conflict, you’ll have a better chance of producing a page-turner.
• Show, don’t tell, and provide a few well-chosen, glistening details to set the scene.
• Introduce your hero and heroine in scenes where they’re doing something interesting-getting arrested, competing in the Olympics, saving someone’s life, climbing a mountain peak when an earthquake strikes.
• Provide periodic setbacks and mounting tension, building to a deep, dark moment when your reader can’t figure out how the h/h are going to overcome their obstacles.

There’s an art to layering in just enough information about a character’s background to orient us to the present action. So how about it, authors? Any secrets for how to do this?